Mathair Áil

Dealing with the dreaded withdrawal

So what have we learned from all this exchange of posts which has drawn out comments from those who have gone through the withdrawal and those who have been lucky (or smart enough) to avoid it?

These are some of the ideas :

Keep expections low.
Appreciate what you have.
Let them do the pursuing.
Avoid complaints or confrontations.
Avoid the "motherly" actions and words until they are asked for.

What would you add to this list?

Don't expect your child to heal you or make your pain go away. Only you can do that.
Make contacts with your child fun for them, so they will want more.
As my son always says, "Expect the unexpected." Whatever that means. He always has tricks up his sleeve.
Compliment and praise them.
Let them choose what they want to be to you or your family. This can change with time.
Keep in mind that although reunion is an event, it will remain a work in proccess, maybe forever and forever changing.

Do you disagree with any of them?
How big a risk is there in "staying cool"? Would some bchildren read this as disinterest?

I don't think I am being cool to my son by letting him pursue me. I always make him feel good about any kind of contact he puts forward. I do contact him also, just not like I did in the beginning. My son knows I/we are interested in him, but we are not going to beg him for his time (What an insecure person I must have portayed to him in the beginning).

Mother of the brood……………The Source